Pot Pourri

• Last winter I actually put my gloves in my Jeep's glovebox - it's not convenient or handy, but it felt good to do it once.

• Mormons are like a crazy version of Jehovah's Witnesses, yet both are nice, polite, and well-dressed.

• My spices are in my cupboard in alphabetical order from left to right. The exception was that my salt was on the left and my pepper was on the right. An OCD gal I know solved her sel-pouvre problem by putting them on the counter, where alphabetizing doesn't apply. I changed mine to have the salt in the front and the pepper in the back.

• Does anyone ever use SCROLL LOCK?

• A big block of wood appeared in my yard after a windstorm. I have no idea whence it came.

• Why does Wonder Bread have an expiration date when it lasts forever? I wonder.

• Native Indians were peaceful, lived in harmony with their environment, and never wasted a thing. One look at the bottom of a buffalo jump should dispell that last one. They were also known to be fierce warriors. When they say that they want their land back, I wonder if they're going to give it back to the tribes they conquered. I think not having a written history (evidence) helps them out here.

• I like big doors. The bigger, the better. Insanely huge wooden and steel castle doors are the best. Here are some Moroccan doors (save yourself eyestrain, I'm not in them).





• At one time or another my garlic, onions, and potatoes have sprouted on my counter.

• I believe that horoscopes are a hijacking and abuse of tenuous scientific principles. But then again, we Leos are sceptical, bossy, and lecturey. Oh, and all Scorpios are batsh*t crazy.

• Way back we learned that our taste buds were grouped together (ie. salty in front, sweet in back). It's a myth - they're evenly spread out. The wine snobs insist that different types of wines have different-shaped glasses to channel the wine to the appropriate buds. They're talking crap.

• Male clothing wraps left-over-right and female clothing wraps right-over-left (eg. button-up shirts). I wrap my robe left-over-right, but my towel right-over-left. Am I all gay/feminine when I'm just out of the shower and feeling superclean?

• In The Shawshank Redemption, Andy plays that record over the loudspeaker and Red narrates:

"I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."

I checked. One of those "Italian ladies" was Swiss and the other was German.