Friday, October 21, 2016

Obama Murderball

Weird dream. 

Obviously I've been watching too much election stuff. I was in my elementary school gym with a bunch of people who were playing a game where someone tosses up a white Frisbee and you had to hit it with a ball.  I join them and nail it first time, but I got called out because I threw the ball while the dude was looking at me.  "Uh uh"  [points to open eyes]  WTF?  It was where I remember my Cub Scout Troop standing for formation - is this important?

Luckily, someone said "Let's play murderball."  That's what we called dodgeball on the mean streets of Fort Sask.  There were balls rolling around the stage so President Obama hops up on the stage and tosses me one.  "Thanks Obama," I said, wittily.  Nothing.  What a humourless guy.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Just Like One of the Hardy Boys

Someone tried to open my front door again. By the time I got there I saw an old guy awkwardly manoeuvering down my steps (no handrail). I asked him who he was looking for and he just showed me what looked like a colouring book. I asked him if he needed help, but he gestured no and held up the book again. Okay, weird. Carry on.

Tried to watch football again, but got curious and checked the 'missing persons' website. Nothing. Checked outside and he was gone. Crap. Went for a walk in the neighbourhood and called non-emerg police number and found no missing guy reports, but mentioned Alzheimer's patients tend to go in a straight line. Crap...towards the ravine at dusk. Now with better shoes, flashlight, and adrenaline, I jogged toward the ravine, shone light at many houses and on a homeless camp, but no old guy. Quicker jog down ravine with suspicious flashlight inquiries everywhere found nothing.

Now I'm running back up the hill and wondering where a confused old guy would go. More alleys, asking strangers, and light-shining yielded nothing. Was just about to run across the Whyte Ave Mill Creek Ravine Bridge and maybe down to the Mill Creek Pool when I thought I'd take a chance and went into the Humpty's. There he is...eating. He looked suspiciously at me so I quietly talked to a waitress and explained the situation. He's a regular and she thinks that he lives in the Old Folks' Home down the street. Everyone was okay with it, so I phoned in the update to the police and went sweatily home. I think the Steelers won.

That's the second time I've looked for an old lost guy in the ravine. When I get dementia, I'm going to Mill Creek Ravine...someone mark that down or put it in my file.

[too long; didn't read: Got out-run by an old dude]