Easter Primer

Want lots of rites, rituals & observances to keep you busy? Have you thought about Catholicism? I love details & trivia, but it's too much for me to remember. Now you can't tell the players without a program, so here's a little Easter primer for you to see how you're doing on your celebrations, mourning, and bead-gathering:



Septuagesima Sunday - Third-last Sunday before Lent.
Liturgical (Christian) year begins; not used much now.

Shrovetide - Septuagesima Sunday to Shrove Tuesday.
AKA Pre-Lenten season

Shrove Tuesday - 41 non-Sundays before Easter; start of Lent season.
Last day to flash boobies at Mardi Gras.
AKA Pancake Day, Fat Tuesday, Tuesday of Carnival

Ash Wednesday - 40th non-Sunday before Easter.
First day of actual Lent (fasting & praying).
People with a cross of ashes on their forehead today are hardcore...or they passed out against the grill of a Chevy.

Sexagesima Sunday - Sunday after Ash Wednesday.
Unfortunately it's just from the Greek word for 'sixtieth'.

Quinquagesima Sunday - 2nd Sunday after Ash Wednesday.
AKA Shrove Sunday, Esto Mihi



Palm Sunday - Sunday before Easter.
Entry of Jesus into Jerusalem in days before his Passion - the events & suffering of Jesus around his crucifixion.
AKA Passion Sunday, Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

Holy Wednesday - Wednesday before Easter.
AKA Spy Wednesday, Holy & Great Wednesday

Maundy Thursday - Thursday before Easter.
Last Supper of Jesus with Apostles.
Say it out loud and you'll sing Happy Days all day.
AKA Holy Thursday, Great & Holy Thursday, Thursday of Mysteries

Good Friday - Friday before Easter.
Crucifixion of Jesus.
Winner: Biggest Irony in a Holiday Name
AKA Holy Friday, Black Friday, Great Friday

Holy Saturday - Saturday before Easter.
When Jesus' body lay in the tomb.
All is lost; funeral arrangements started.

EASTER SUNDAY - 3rd day after crucifixion.
The big miracle: Jesus resurrected from the dead!
Smaller miracle: Bunny lays 'chocolate' eggs and people eat them.
AKA Easter, Easter Day, Resurrection Day, Resurrection Sunday,
Sunday Bunny Sunday



Octave of Easter - 8 day period after Easter Sunday.

Eastertide - The 50 days from Easter Sunday to Pentecost Sunday.
Eventually inspires classic Riptide and The Screaming Mimi.
AKA the Easter Season, Paschal Time

Easter Monday - Day after Easter Sunday.
AKA Dyngus Day (seriously)

Easter Saturday - Saturday after Easter.
AKA Easter Saturday, Bright Saturday

Octave of Easter (part deux) - Sunday after Easter.
AKA Low Sunday, St Thomas Sunday, Quasimodo Sunday, Divine Mercy Sunday



Ascension Thursday - 40th day after Easter Sunday.
Jesus ascends to Heaven.
Shares in NYSE:GODX ascend similarly.

Pentecost - 50th day after Easter; 10th day after Ascension.
Descent of Holy Spirit upon disciples of Christ.
AKA Whitsun, Whitsunday, Whit Sunday, Whitsuntide, Whitonrice, Whityherzog, Whitcastleburgers, Blackholesun, Badmoonrising, Killerwhaletank



...and now you know.