Thlong Song

Is your favourite [Greek number-word]-thlon in the Olympics?
Do you have a favourite 'thlong?
If you were competing in your last 'thlon, would it be your swan song 'thlong?

Aquathlon
- run, swim
- not Olympic
- favoured by homeless beach-dwellers


Biathlon
- x-c ski, rifle
- Winter Olympic
- favourite sport of James Bond extras

Biathle (modern biathlon)
- run, swim, run
- not Olympic
- 50% better than wussy Aquathlon-ians


Nordic Combined
- x-c ski, ski jump
- it's Olympic, but not a 'thlon'
- I said it's not a thlon, let it go


Duathlon
- run, bike, run
- not Olympic
- favoured by petty thieves and aquaphobic triathletes everywhere


Triathlon
- swim, bike, run
- Olympic
- only moderately cool because there's a brutally sexy Ironman version in Hawaii


Quadrathlon
- swim, kayak, cycle, run
- not Olympic
- invented by the Inuit; first bike was actually a seal


Ancient Pentathlon
- long jump, javelin, discus, sprint, wrestle
- not Olympic for a few hundred years
- still unofficially practiced by G8 protesters


Pentathlon
- 100m hurdles, shot put, high jump, long jump, 200m
- not Olympic anymore, was discontinued in 1984
- hope no-one sold you tickets for London's pentathlon

Modern Pentathlon
- shoot, swim, fence, equestrian, x-c run
- surprisingly, Olympic
- dominated for years by riot police and farmers with hot daughters



Other pentathlons not in Olympics
- classic, military, naval, aeronautical (6 events), science Olympiad




Heptathlon
- 100m hurdles, High jump, Shot put, 200m, Long jump, Javelin throw, 800m
- Chicks: Olympic (replaced the pentathlon)
- Men: not Olympic


Octathlon
- 100m, long jump, 110m hurdles, high jump, 400m, shot put, javelin, 1000m
- not Olympic, it's a youth event
- this probably has an awesome wicked cool octopus logo in an octagon


Decathlon
- 100m, long jump, shot put, high jump, 400m, 110m hurdles, discus, pole vault, javelin, 1500m
- yes, Olympic (men only)
- once upon a time, an annoying Kardashian husband was big in this

One Hour Decathlon
- same as above, but athletes have to start the last event within sixty minutes of the start of the first event
- it's not an Olympic event
- how awesome is it that someone thought of this, let alone competed in it?


Icosathlon (double decathlon)
- 100m, long jump, 200m hurdles, shot put, 5000m, 800m, high jump, 400m, hammer throw, 3000m steeplechase, 110m hurdles, discus, 200m, pole vault, 3000m, 400m hurdles, javelin, 1500m, triple jump, 10000m
- not in the Olympic fold
- how could they have enough venues and volunteers?


Tetradecathlon
- similar to above, but based upon women's heptathlon
- no, it's not Olympic either
- possible tetra-pack sponsorship might get it in Olympics







Mathlon
- geometry, calculus, matrix long divisions
- not Olympic
- hopefully, this not even close...although the gals in above pic are cute


Marathlon
- 26 miles, 385 yards?
- not Olympic
- were you thinking of the marathon?


BoJacksonthlon
- football, baseball
- not Olympic
- too many broken hips stopped this sport in its infancy


DeionSandersthlon
- football, baseball in same day
- not Olympic
- similar to BoJacksonthlon, but more medals handed out


Chess-Boxing
- this would be chess and boxing
- not Olympic, although boxing is
- again, not a thlon
- not even in my top-five types of boxing: