Under Ten Hundred Words

Randall Munroe writes a geek web-comic called XKCD.com, and one of his comics describes a Saturn V rocket in technical detail, but only uses the one thousand (ten hundred) most frequently used words in the English language.


"US Space Team's Up-Goer Five, the only flying space car that's taken anyone to another world..."

Link:  Saturn V Comic


Then he wrote a book explaining a lot of things that same way.  It's actually one of Bill Gates's recommended books for 2015.

Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words



I tried describing football using his text editor, and it was tough, but here it is:


One team starts the game by kicking a ball, that isn't round, to another team. They have a person catch the ball and run back the other way until they get knocked down. Sometimes there are a lot of angry people lying on top of, and yelling at, the person with the ball. Small people in black and white shirts tell the teams to stop yelling, and to go talk in their groups again. 

The team with the ball then throws or gives the ball to someone else who runs until they get knocked down. Sometimes a person runs with the ball all the way into a box made of lines on the field and everyone on that team jumps around. Sometimes one person holds the ball until another person, who few people know, kicks the ball over a bar and between two other bars and some people smile.

Eventually the team kicks the ball to the other team, who try to run with the ball back to the other box made of lines at the other end. 

Sometimes both teams are told, by the people in black and white shirts, to run the other way. Eventually the men in the black and white shirts tell everyone to stop knocking each other down for good.

A quiet person with a writing stick and paper sees how many times each team gets the ball into the box of lines, and how many times each team kicked the ball over the bar and between the two other bars, and tells one team to jump around a lot. The other team yells at the people in the black and white shirts. 

Everyone likes the team who jumps around a lot, gives them lots of stuff, pretty girls smile at them, and they get to talk out of a box while everyone at home listens.

After the game, loud people in the box talk a lot about the game, and when more people are going to get knocked down again, to people at home who wear shirts that match the shirts that the teams wear.

Other people, who kick a round ball, or hit a round ball with their heads a lot, say that their game is the real foot-ball. Then they fall to the ground for no reason and roll around on the ground holding one of their legs or their head.


Link that you can play with:  Text Editor

Who Shot First?

You probably have heard of the "Han shot first" controversy - referring to Han Solo and George Lucas messing with history.

If not, here's the link:  Han Shot First

But who else shot first?  

I think this guy gets an honourable mention

 

Okay, now go impress the world with your 'shooting first' knowledge backed up with super-solid graphics - there really is no more powerful force on the internet than this.

Strange Connections

Ingrid or Monique...take your pic

Funny...while researching my last St Albert Trail blog (now freshly updated) I wondered what that big, creepy, abandoned, building was. Turns it out it's the old Charles Camsell Hospital.

[wiki]

1946 - opened as tuberculosis hospital 

1964 - housed Northern Medical Research Unit for the changes to Inuit lifestyle with the coming of the DEW Line and increasing southern influence.  [DEW is Distant Early Warning radar Line from the Cold War]

1945 to 1967 - occupational therapy program for aboriginal patients.

1990 - hospital donated over 400 arts and crafts items made by patients in the program to the Royal Alberta Museum

1996 - closed and abandoned, condemned due in part to asbestos

2009 - building and grounds sit empty

The hospital was an "Experimental Hospital" run by Indian Affairs and was known as the "Indian Hospital". Stigma surrounds the hospital as it is alleged that the aboriginal population was treated poorly, abused, and murdered. It is also alleged that south of the building near what used to be the staff garden is a mass grave of aboriginal children, though officials say that most of the people who died were buried St Albert. These rumours and others regarding hauntings of the hospital are based more in urban legend than fact.

Link to Creepy Pics of Camsell Hospital

The movie "White Coats" was filmed in this hospital.  Apparently a wretched Dave Thomas movie, but it starred Ingrid Kavelaars, who's married to the Oilers' ex-coach Dallas Eakins.  The film was released in 2004.

Ingrid has a twin sister Monique Kavelaars, who won a silver medal in fencing at the Commonwealth games.  She's also the only Canadian woman to win an individual match in Epee (type of fencing).  She did it on my birthday in the same year as the film came out: 2004.  

Creepy.  I knew something was strange about that place...probably a secret insane asylum too.

Crap You Didn't Know About Your Own Damn City

I friggin' love maps.  Google Maps is like porn to me.  How much do you know about St Albert Trail?



I have a friend who lived on Whyte Ave.  His directions to his Westlock friend to visit were:

"Go south on Highway 2...when it changes into Whyte Ave, I'm the second apartment on the right ." 

As crazy as that sounds, it's perfectly accurate. From way north of St Albert:

Highway 2
St Albert Trail
Mark Messier Trail
St Albert Trail
Groat Road
Whyte Ave

And back then, there was no Mark Messier Trail, so it was easier.  His apartment was on 112 St, so it was right near the west end of Whyte.  It'd be kind of awesome if he moved northeast of Camrose, because it technically continues:

Sherwood Park Freeway
Wye Road
Township Rd 515
Highway 630
Highway 833
Range Rd 201

"Yeah, just go through a few towns, hamlets, Edmonton...keep following the road...ends at a t-intersection in the country...by a bunch of cows"

Hmmm...I just looked the other way, and Highway 2 goes northwest all the way past High Prairie, then turns into Highway 49...which goes through Spirit River. He married a gal from Spirit River.  If her parents were visiting, they'd get instructions like:

"Go east out of town for 550 km...we're the second apartment on the right when you hit Whyte Ave."

or, strangely:

"Go east out of town until you hit Highway 2 the first time, then turn NORTH and follow Highway 2 for 700km...second apartment on the right when you hit Whyte Ave."



But hey, this all started when I was checking out St Albert Trail on Google Maps.  Here's a mini-quiz that you'll want to gather all friends and family around for:


Q1) Is St Albert Trail always two-way?
Know-it-alls:  Yes, unless you count where Highway 2 splits near Morinville.
True experts:  No, part is truly one-way.

Q2) Is St Albert Trail contiguous?
Know-it-alls: No, it's split in two by Mark Messier Trail.
True experts:  No, it has four sections.

Q3) This is fascinating - where's everybody going?


It actually ends here at its most southeast point.  It's one way...for one block:

That part is at the bottom-right of this map.  It goes up until 117 Ave, then continues north from Groat Road at the traffic circle, where everyone knows it.

So technically, someone somewhere could say: "Yeah, I live on St Albert Trail.  You know that one-block, one-way section?  That's the spot.  Just park on the road...there's angle parking."


Or:  "I live on St Albert Trail.  It's nice and quiet for the kids.  Narrow, with elms covering the whole thing.  Good for road hockey."

[edit]  St Albert Trail actually continues on south of 112 Ave around that little loop.  Technically, that loop is also a one-way section.

See another blog on this:  St Albert Trail

Ghost Week!

It happens every eight to nine years...Ghost Week!!! It's like Shark Week, but way better.

February 1 is on a Sunday and it's not a leap year, so the month only uses four rows. The fifth week is missing. For OCD/neatness freaks, it's just the best thing ever. Look how neatly the whole month packs in there. Why can't other months be this efficient? Because they're just lazy and bloated, like politicians, Windows, your neighbour's kids, etc. Besides it giving a year that has three Friday-the-thirteenths, here are some things that you probably didn't know about Ghost Week:

• Your calendar will cost 1/52 less than other years
• You don't have to go to school or work
• You don't have to pay taxes
• It never snows
• Speeding tickets and gambling debts are forgiven

• You're allowed to shoot that a**hole in the BMW
• A mob boss must forgive your slight to his family
• At the gas station you just pay what you feel is right
• You'll get in better shape without working out
• The statues (Moai) on Easter Island smile

For this knowledge...you're welcome, in advance.

Paul

Paul's Oscar Picks

Okay, let's just cut to the chase. Here are my picks for best Oscars:


Best Pugilist -- Oscar De La Hoya

Best Legless Athlete/A-Hole/Girlfriend-Killer -- Oscar Pistorius

Best Fashion Designer/Philanthropist -- Oscar de la Renta

Best Flamboyant Wit -- Oscar Wilde

Best Pianist, Africa-American -- Oscar Peterson

Best Pianist, White/Jewish -- Oscar Levant



Best Open Source Group -- OSCAR (Open Source Cluster Application Resources)

Best Slob Character, real name Jack, Movie -- Jack Lemmon, "Odd Couple"

Best Slob Character, real name Jack, TV -- Jack Klugman, "Odd Couple"

Best Mathematical Commutative Algebraic Geometer -- Oscar Zariski

Best Grouch Character, Real -- "Corner Gas", Oscar Leroy

Best Grouch Character, Puppet/Animated -- "Sesame Street", Oscar the Grouch

Monzarite

My old car was hit by a meteor. True story.

Back around, ohhhh 1988, I was toodling along highway 15 from Fort Sask towards Edmonton. With literally no vehicles in sight, I saw this small rock bouncing quite far ahead of me. It was further than my tire would've thrown it for sure, and there were no kids with slingshots around either. I thought it was odd, but didn't do anything to avoid it.

Bink.

It hit my windshield, but didn't do any damage. I didn't stop, so if you have a geiger counter, meteor-detector, or good eyes, then look for a pebble-sized meteor on the north side of the highway just before it sweeps left and turns into Manning Freeway.  If you find it, please name it Monzarite after my cool old Monza Spyder.

I miss the old girl. Cheapo car, but fun to drive and nice rumble. Somehow always looked clean too.