Okay, let's just cut to the chase. Here are my picks for best Oscars:
Best Pugilist -- Oscar De La Hoya
Best Legless Athlete/A-Hole/Girlfriend-Killer -- Oscar Pistorius
Best Fashion Designer/Philanthropist -- Oscar de la Renta
Best Flamboyant Wit -- Oscar Wilde
Best Pianist, Africa-American -- Oscar Peterson
Best Pianist, White/Jewish -- Oscar Levant
Best Open Source Group -- OSCAR (Open Source Cluster Application Resources)
Best Slob Character, real name Jack, Movie -- Jack Lemmon, "Odd Couple"
Best Slob Character, real name Jack, TV -- Jack Klugman, "Odd Couple"
Best Mathematical Commutative Algebraic Geometer -- Oscar Zariski
Best Grouch Character, Real -- "Corner Gas", Oscar Leroy
Best Grouch Character, Puppet/Animated -- "Sesame Street", Oscar the Grouch
